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TESTIMONY:

From Addiction to Freedom: My Testimony of Deliverance I want to share my journey—not because I am proud of everything in my past, but because I am living proof that God can reach you in the darkest place, break chains that seem impossible to break, and restore what you thought was lost forever. For 24 years, I battled a methamphetamine addiction. An addiction that shaped so much of my life. An addiction that took me through chaos, pain, selfishness, destruction, and consequences I never imagined I would face. Meth became my escape. It became my crutch. And eventually, it became my prison. But my story is different than what many people might expect. I didn’t grow up in a broken home. In fact, I had the complete opposite. I had a mom and dad who were present, loving, supportive, and disciplined. As an evangelist and preacher’s daughter, I was raised in church. I grew up surrounded by faith, love, strong values, and the Word of God. I was taught about God’s grace. I was taught right from wrong. I was taught the importance of making good choices. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Yet despite the love and foundation I was given, I made horrible choices. I rebelled. And those choices eventually led me into addiction. At just 19 years old, I was married and pregnant with my first child. I gave birth to my first daughter exactly one year after graduating high school. Sixteen months later, I gave birth to another baby girl. By 2010, I was the mother of five children. But my life became complicated and painful. I went through divorce and entered a 5-6 year relationship with another lifelong addict who was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. Then God placed another man in my life. My husband, Rob. He stood beside me through every up and down. He stayed when I was at my lowest—when I was angry, lost, broken, and completely consumed by my addiction. He stayed when he didn’t have to. He stepped up to the plate that another man had walked away from. During one of the darkest seasons of my life, Rob became one of the few constants I had. How It Began My addiction didn’t begin with me thinking I would destroy my life. It began innocently enough. I was looking for a way to cope with the pressures of life. Then meth became a way to numb myself from the complete mess my life had become. At first, it felt like an answer. It gave me energy. It gave me a false sense of confidence. It gave me a temporary feeling of euphoria. It felt almost like a superpower. But that feeling was a lie. What I thought was an escape quickly became a nightmare. I lost my children. I strained nearly every relationship I had. I neglected my children, my family, and myself. I became a shell of the person I once was. There were years when I would look in the mirror and honestly couldn’t recognize the person staring back at me. I became consumed by cravings, lies, shame, guilt, and the constant need to feed my addiction. I was surrounded by people, yet I was completely alone. For years, I surrounded myself with people who were just as lost and broken as I was. 2 Peter 2:19 says, “They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves to sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you.” That verse describes exactly where I was. My life had become a cycle of fleeting highs followed by devastating lows. For the last 10 years of my addiction, I convinced myself I was in control. I wasn’t getting into trouble. I was back in my children’s lives. From the outside, things may have looked better. But the truth was, meth still had complete control over me. I would sit in my house day after day surrounded by the remnants of the life I had destroyed. Guilt. Self-hatred. Paraphernalia. Silence. And deep inside my soul was a desperate cry for something to change. I had lost so much—and what I had managed to regain was slowly slipping away. The Destruction Over the course of those 24 years, my addiction took me places I never imagined I would go. Some of the things I experienced included: Being in and out of jail. Being in and out of inpatient rehabilitation facilities. Being on and off probation. Practicing witchcraft. Years of battling DCFS. Out-of-control behavior and lifestyles, including exotic dancing, raves, bartending, biker groups, gangs, and delivering and using drugs with people involved in those lifestyles. Multiple county court cases. Felony possession charges. Attempting suicide. Multiple broken bones as a result of domestic abuse. A gambling addiction that devastated my family—I lost more than $80,000 in less than a year. A life-threatening health issue involving my heart. I was living a life that I never thought would be mine. Isaiah 1:5 says, “Why do you continue to invite punishment? Must you rebel forever? Your head is injured, your heart is sick.” My heart was sick. My life was broken. And eventually, I reached the place where I knew I could not save myself. When My Addiction Started Hurting My Son One of the hardest parts of my story is what my addiction did to my youngest son. He was the one child who was never taken from me. But he didn’t escape the consequences of my addiction. He walked through my addiction with me. He saw things no child should have to see. He lived through the instability, the chaos, and the consequences of choices that weren’t his. And in 2024, I began watching the effects of my lifestyle take a devastating toll on him. His behavior began changing drastically. He started acting out, and eventually he was admitted to two different youth mental-health facilities because of severe psychological and behavioral issues. After his second admission to a youth mental-health hospital, our family began to believe that what we were dealing with went beyond what we had initially understood. From our perspective and through our faith, we came to believe that he was dealing with spiritual oppression. When he came home from his second stay, my father—who is an evangelist—along with my son and some of his friends, prayed over him and ministered to him. We believe he was delivered from the spirits that had been tormenting him. But even after that, my son was still carrying the weight of years of my choices and my lifestyle. And that broke something inside of me. There is already a tremendous amount of pain and guilt that comes with addiction. But when you begin seeing the consequences of your addiction showing up in the life of your child, it takes that pain to an entirely different level. I could handle the consequences happening to me. But watching my son suffer because of choices I had made was almost unbearable. In July of 2025, my youngest son was sentenced to an indeterminate amount of time in the Illinois juvenile justice system. He remained there until December 22, 2025. I cannot adequately explain what that did to me. The guilt became overwhelming. The shame became overwhelming. The pain became overwhelming. And instead of turning toward God, I went deeper into my addiction than I ever had before. The Darkest Point of My Life When my son was sentenced, my addiction became worse than it had ever been. I began using fentanyl. I overdosed twice. I was no longer simply destroying my life—I was actively losing the desire to keep living it. I had reached a place where I believed that one final disappointment would be better than a lifetime of disappointments. I had convinced myself that because I couldn’t quit, I would never quit. And if I couldn’t escape my addiction, I thought the only way out was to escape life itself. I had already made up my mind. I had obtained fentanyl and rented a hotel room in Evansville, Indiana, intending to spend the weekend there and end my life. My mindset was essentially: “Whoever finds me, finds me. I’m done.” I had everything prepared. But God had other plans. That Wednesday night, before I ever made it to that hotel room, I was arrested in Wayne County on a forgery charge related to selling a chainsaw. I ended up in jail. And that night, in that jail cell, something happened that changed everything. I heard an audible voice say: “Get up. I have never left you.” I knew exactly who I believed was speaking to me. God. After 24 years of addiction. After everything I had done. After everything I had lost. After hurting people I loved. After hurting myself. After running from God. After believing I was too far gone. He was still there. He had never left me. And from that night forward, everything changed. Delivered I don’t have the words to completely explain what happened next. But I know this: I was delivered. The cravings disappeared. The desire disappeared. The wants disappeared. The obsession disappeared. I didn’t want meth. I didn’t want fentanyl. I didn’t want drugs. I didn’t want alcohol. I didn’t want the lifestyle I had lived for 24 years. It was as though I had never lived that life at all. For 24 years, I had been fighting something I couldn’t seem to defeat. And then God stepped in. Not because I suddenly became strong enough. Not because I finally figured it all out. But because God was faithful. The woman who once couldn’t imagine getting through a day without drugs suddenly didn’t want them anymore. The woman who had spent years running from God suddenly wanted nothing more than to run toward Him. The woman who thought she was going to die in addiction discovered that God had a purpose for her life. July 2024—and the Journey That Followed My first major turning point came in the summer of 2024, when I gathered up everything connected to my addiction and got rid of it before leaving for Branson, Missouri, with my parents, my husband, and my son. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what God was doing. I didn’t realize how much He was preparing me. I didn’t realize that there would still be battles ahead. I didn’t realize how much pain would still come. But God knew. He knew about my son’s struggles. He knew about the juvenile justice system. He knew about the fentanyl. He knew about the overdoses. He knew about the hotel room. He knew about the jail cell. And He knew about the moment I would finally hear: “Get up. I have never left you.” Looking back, I can see that God was preparing me step by step. Restoration 1 Peter 5:10 says: “In His kindness God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation.” That Scripture became real to me. At 43 years old, after growing up knowing about God, I finally began to understand what it meant to have a personal relationship with God. I finally began to experience freedom. Not the temporary freedom meth promised me. Not the freedom the world promised me. But real freedom through Jesus Christ. Looking back now, I can see God’s hand throughout my entire story. Even when I couldn’t see Him. Even when I was running from Him. Even when I was destroying myself. Even when I felt completely abandoned. God was there. There were signs of His presence guiding me toward the moment when I would finally surrender everything to Him. He was working through the people around me. He was working through circumstances. He was preparing me for something greater—even when I couldn’t understand what He was doing. What Is Grace? Do you want to talk about grace? Because I know something about grace now. God’s grace is absolutely amazing. God loves us unconditionally. Not because of what we’ve done. Not because we deserve it. Not because our past is perfect. But because He is God. Addiction does not define us. Our mistakes do not define us. Our worst decisions do not define us. Our past is a chapter. It is not the entire story. God was present in my brokenness. He was present in my pain. He was present in my rebellion. And He knew the exact moment when I would finally reach the point where I could no longer go on without Him. From the Altar to the Pits—and Back I won’t pretend that the road from the altar to freedom is easy. For some of us, the journey is filled with challenges that are life-altering. Healing takes time. Restoration takes time. Learning how to live without the thing that once controlled you takes time. But the road is also paved with grace. And because I have received grace, I am called to give grace. We are called to love people who are struggling. We are called to support those who feel lost. We are called to reach out to people who have wandered away from God. We are called to remind people that they are not alone. James 5:19-20 reminds us that when someone wanders from the truth and another person brings them back, that person helps save a soul and covers a multitude of sins. So let us be the hands and feet of Jesus. Let us show unconditional love. Let us show compassion. Let us show understanding. Let us stop looking at people only for what they have done and start seeing them for who God created them to be. Because I know what it feels like to be judged by my past. I know what it feels like to be ashamed. I know what it feels like to believe that I’ve gone too far. And I also know what it feels like to finally realize: God wasn’t finished with me. If God could reach me after 22 years of meth addiction, He can reach anyone. If He could restore me, He can restore anyone. If He could break my chains, He can break yours. And if He could bring me out of the darkness, He can bring you out too. Today, I don’t share my testimony because I am proud of the life I lived. I share it because I am proud of the God who brought me out of it. I am not the woman I used to be. I am becoming who God created me to be. And I believe my story didn’t end when addiction took hold of my life. That was only a chapter. My story began again when I surrendered it to Jesus. And now I have another reason to share it. For my children. For my son. For the people still trapped in addiction. For the families watching someone they love disappear into drugs. For the person sitting alone tonight believing there is no way out. I want you to know what I know now: There is a way out. There is hope. There is restoration. There is forgiveness. There is freedom. And there is a God who will pursue you even when you have spent years running from Him. So wherever you are today—whether you are in a season of healing, a season of struggle, or somewhere in between—please remember this: The God who called you is faithful. He will not abandon you in your pain. He will walk with you through the fire. He will hold your hand when you are too weak to stand. He will make a way when you cannot see one. He will lead you home. There is freedom on the other side of surrender. There is restoration on the other side of brokenness. There is purpose on the other side of your pain. And there is grace waiting for you. Jesus saved me. Jesus restored me. Jesus broke my chains. And Jesus gave me my life back. And if He can do it for me after 24 years, He can do it for you.
TESTIMONY VERIFICATION STATUS: Unverified

TESTIFIER:

Joanna Lane


PASTOR:

Short sledge


LOCATION:

United States


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